The Cooly Carny

Shortly after we moved into our apartment in Coolangatta the carnival arrived in town and plopped itself a mere 5 minute walk from our doorstep.  I am not an avid enthusiast of rides but Nug loves them so I knew we were destined to give it a shot.  I dodged the visit as long as possible until I was cornered like a rat and coerced to go.

Our 1st ride, ride, the “Cha-Cha” where we went solo, slung us around like rag dolls.  This reminded me of how Nug and I have distinctive reactions to rides.  As the intensity of a ride increases, she becomes more boisterous and cackles like crazy.  As this picks up speed I whine more, mumble incoherently or pick a choice curse word to repetitively utter.  Next we went on the Gravitron, again as the only riders.  It was a ride that I have always ducked like a wuss and I felt like a true champion for facing my fears even though it did a first-rate job of upsetting the chicken curry in my gut.

When it was still fun...

We then decided to tackle “The Octopus”.  As we waited in line (this was the only ride that seemed to have people on it) I surveyed the contraption.  It had eight arms with what I would describe as a teacup attached to each end.  These teacups spun clockwise or counterclockwise at a horrid pace and with no rhyme or reason to speak of.  The Octopus would tilt on a 45 degree angle that moved as well so you would be shot high into the air before rocketing down towards the ground, and then jetted skyward all while spinning at a maddening clip.  It was finally our turn and the carny that locked us in to our seat had a raspy smoker’s voice along with half a nostril.  The other segment of his nose was cut clean off and sported a gaping black hole that peered directly into his soul.  He gruffly choked out, “Have a nice ride,” and let out a sinister gurgle.  I was horrified!  The Octopus creaked into action and as the dual spinning began Nug commenced her giggling and I started stuttering.  As it increased speed her laughing and my cursing gained intensity.  My line of vision was changing rapidly…stars, ground, girl in the next teacup screaming, lights, cars, kid picking his nose in line, moon, ground, ocean, city, lady smoking a cigarette, lights…and I started to turn green.  I tried to close my eyes but all I could see was the carny’s snout cavity with the background music of Nug’s cackles at max capacity.  Ugggghhh!!!  Is this ever going to end?!?!?  I tried to lean over the edge of the car and Nug bellowed, “Don’t you dare barf!”  I was miserable and could sense the curry creeping.  It appeared to be hours before the ride ceased.  The carny must have noticed us because we were let off 1st.  I maintained as much composure as possible as I tried to prevent a face first collapse into the grass.  As I bolted to the exit with Nug in pursuit I spotted a little kid with cotton candy tugging on his mom’s shirt and pointing at me.  I barely made it out of sight behind the Gravitron before the curry was offered freedom from the confines of my belly.

9 thoughts on “The Cooly Carny

  1. Sounds like the old days with Mr. Phil. He was a wus and I was loving every thrill. No more though. Especially if I had to be strapped in by a nostrils carny.

  2. Well, at least you can cross off Carny rides from your bucket list.
    You can just say “been there done that.”

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